Ways to get out of my oral argument in 15 minutes

1. Get hit by a bus on the way to the classroom. On second thought, this probably won't work because I'm already in the building.
2.  Eat a can of dented food and get botulism.  This is a real possibility, if I can find a can of dented food in 15 minutes.
3. For my opening statement just say..."How YOU doin'? You come here often?" (Thanks, Topher)
4. Just concede before I start talking.  "Your Honor, I don't feel like arguing this case today.  Peace out, P-Money."

I'M FREAKING OUT, MAN!!!!!