Finals will not be kind to me.

Today's Civil Procedure project (when not planning my GenCon trip): Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Joe Hack.

Joe, of course, immediately realized it was me and/or Grace that posted it (we really need to perfect our "who, ME?!" faces), but five minutes later I got the first email response:

I wont lie I am def not the guy you are looking for but I am Republican and in the area. You just sound like a hot sexy Republican women who has sexy legs and a great body. Let's face it we work hard and play harder.

No such email would be complete without a picture, which was attached (should I post here?) and showed an appropriately tool-ish military man.

Lenny's comments:

(1) you sound like women (plural)? how'd you pull that one off?  2) you sound like you have sexy legs? damn, this guy has ridiculous auditory sensitivity.  i mean, sometimes if i close my eyes and listen really close, i can just barely tell blonde or brunette but this guy takes it to a whole new level.

I'm contemplating replying with that...or maybe a simple "I'm sorry, but my jaw only drops for Joe Hack" would do.

I can't stop

Law school haikus are
The bane of my existence
Hmm - much like law school

"I'm sorry, Prof. -----
I'll need time to answer you
In five-seven-five

You see, I don't like
Your class, your book, your teaching
Even though you're nice

Property just sucks
I would prefer not to speak
About the easement

Clearly I don't know
What the F is going on
Please call on Lenny."

Aaaaand then this is what really happened.

I got paired with the kid who brings every hornbook, supplement and casebook known to man to every class.  I never had a chance, yo.  Yay for mediocrity on one hand...but on the other, yay for being done with LRW!

Update: Made it to the third round tomorrow.  Rajkumari Kantemneni-Srivastava, fictional methhead and possessor of evidence illegally seized, won't you ever leave me alone?!

Ye olde gods against me

Update: Unfortunately, I didn't figure out a way to get out of the oral argument.  I made it to the second round and will be going again tomorrow.  This is the plan:

(Only GW 1Ls will get the red bikini reference.  The rest of you will just think I'm crazy.)

I JUST WANT TO BE DONE WITH LRW.

Ways to get out of my oral argument in 15 minutes

1. Get hit by a bus on the way to the classroom. On second thought, this probably won't work because I'm already in the building.
2.  Eat a can of dented food and get botulism.  This is a real possibility, if I can find a can of dented food in 15 minutes.
3. For my opening statement just say..."How YOU doin'? You come here often?" (Thanks, Topher)
4. Just concede before I start talking.  "Your Honor, I don't feel like arguing this case today.  Peace out, P-Money."

I'M FREAKING OUT, MAN!!!!!

Things that bother me today

• Why does the author of some property essay feel the need to use the word "palliatives"? Even I had to look that up.  You're just being pretentious, dude.
• Does The Professor Who Shall Not Be Named own any clothing that isn't a polo shirt or argyle? Every time I see him I want to give him a swirly or shove him in a 1L locker.
• I strongly disagree with every use of a Latin word in law and propose that all latin terms are replaced with gangsta terms instead.  For example: 
• Nemo Dat = sh** ain't yo's, dawg.  
• Nolo Contendere = y'all gots me on the crim case but I ain't admitted nuthin' for civil, yo.
• Pro Se divorce = My baby mama ain't gettin' nuthin' from me, and neither is the essquizzire. (Thanks, Grace.)
• I made the mistake of raising my hand in property and the prof won't let me go.  I am now Gunner Extraordinaire.  Wait, that's a good thing.

I could be wrong...

...but I think this is why I'm always behind on reading.

Fascinating crap.

In the past two days I have taken 14 different metro trains.  Today I tripped on the metro grate and fell up the escalator and also got my purse stuck in the door.

If this doesn't get me a Craigslist missed connection, I don't know what will.

Speaking of missed connections, this is how Grace and Vee spent the last hour of Civil Procedure: Who DOESN'T have the hots for Jesse?!